The Path of a lonely man! Part 1

At first glance, this title sounds as though it has a negative connotation…this is NOT the case in this story.  Following the path of the lonely man allows one to discover that we are never really alone.  The path requires the individual to find themselves within a quiet space.  All attachments to the external world must be examined.  And when this is accomplished, you will know who you are, you will know what really matters to you and you will see the world in a whole new light.

Solitude can be most uncomfortable.  Sitting alone, by yourself for hours, days, weeks and even months at a time can be quite challenging for most people.  We have friends and family that are always seeking our attention.  They want to gossip, they want your help, they want your energy.  These are all OK, however they do not assist you in discovering your true self.  Only in silence will you have the fortitude to ask the really deep questions. 

Who am I?

How did I get here?

What is the purpose of life?

How does the hair on my head continue to grow while the hair on my arm stops?

How does my body heal itself?

Why do I feel the way that I feel?

Why am I afraid?

Who controls the thoughts in my head?

Why do I have these thoughts in my head?

These are just a sample of questions you may ask yourself as you sit in silence.  It is important to understand that there are no right or wrong questions.  Each question opens up a new level of awareness of one’s self.  As you sit in silence you will be confronted with a very uncomfortable situation.  You don’t know how to just sit and do nothing.  You don’t know how to relax and allow yourself to ponder life.  Instead, you will look for something to fill this void.  You will turn on the TV, you will watch videos, you will read…you will do whatever you have to do to distract yourself from thinking.  You have forgotten how to just BE and you have become someone who must DO!  

Relax – breathe and give yourself some grace.  Getting to know yourself is a challenging idea. 

We have all been programmed by the external world.  We believe in our titles; we are a doctor, or a lawyer, or a teacher, or a delivery driver.  We may be a garbage collector or a bookkeeper, but none of these titles are who we REALLY are.  These are just labels for the “jobs” we perform.  We went to school and learned all sorts of things, but none of these things had anything to do with who we as individuals truly are.  We were never taught about WHO we are and WHY we are here.  We were only taught how to attach ourselves to a title.  We were only taught that the “bigger” the title, the more "important" we are and the more money we shall make. 

As you delve into these questions, your mind may become very agitated.  You will ponder the question for a minute, maybe two.  Then the “monkey-mind” will kick in and you will think about all of the chores you have to do, all of the tasks you need to complete.  You will begin to criticize yourself for just “sitting there, thinking”.  You will tell yourself that you MUST do something.  This is a waste of time.  You may become super anxious and start to feel all sorts of wild emotional swings within your head.  These thoughts are the result of the external programming.  We have been taught from a very young age that we must work hard.  “Time equals money”!  From about the age of 5 we start going to school.  We wake up early, we eat breakfast and by 8 AM we are out of the house all day doing “work”.  We stay in school for about 7 hours, then we come home and we have homework to do.  We eat dinner, and then we have about 2 hours before it’s time to go to bed.  This same schedule gets programmed into us we age.  We go to high school, then we have college.  Mixed into these timeframes we also have to squeeze in time for a job.  At this stage we only know how to go, go, go!  We gotta go to class, then we gotta go to work, then we gotta do our homework.  When do we have time to think?  We have now graduated college and it’s time to find a full-time job.  Once again, we are back to our routine of working from 8-5.  Then we get home, we cook dinner, do some household chores, and in some cases we have work which we brought home to complete.  We finally stop around 830 or so, and now we turn on the TV and just veg out.  We never have time to relax.  We don’t know how to just think, because we never gave ourselves any time to actually do this.  Now, here we are, 40 or 50 or even 60 years old and we have never taken the time to ask ourselves what the heck is going on.  What are we doing?  Why are we subjecting ourselves to this absurd NEED to work, work, work?  Why?  So we can buy “stuff”?  So we can make lots of money and take a vacation.  We get 2 or 3 weeks of vacation time allotted each year; we can afford to “live it up”!  This vacation time is used as the justification for working so hard.  And yet, what happens when we go on vacation.  We try to cram in as much as we can in our short time off.  Many people even feel like they need a vacation from their vacation.  Instead of relaxing and slowing down, they go, go, go!  Then, when we get back to work, the work has piled up and now you have to work more hours just to get caught back up.  The work never stops.    

At this moment, something becomes clear for you.  You don’t know how to relax.  You don’t know how to actually sit and think.  You don’t know how to just BE!  You have never had time to think, you have only had time to react to life.  Life has been running you, instead of YOU running life.  The programs which most of western society has been “taught” has created the perfect slave.  A prisoner to one’s own thoughts.  The prison isn’t with walls, it is with busy-ness!  Have you ever wondered why it’s called a “business”?  We have only learned how to keep ourselves busy.  And yet, WHY?  Why do feel that we are supposed to exhaust all of our energy, every single day?  It is important that you ask yourselves these questions.  WHY do we feel like we have to always have something to do?  Why can’t we “go outside and play”?  Why do we have to be so serious?  Why does everyone else get all of our attention and energy?  What about you?  What about your family?  If we work away from our families for 8-10 hours a day, and then we come home and spend another 2 hours doing housework, how much time does that leave for ourselves and our family?  Not much when you consider we sleep between 6-9 hours each day. 

These thoughts may become quite unsettling.  You will eventually realize that someone else has been dictating how you live, and defined what is important.  Someone else has told you what to do, and you have followed orders…like a good little slave!  Try not to judge yourself, or punish yourself!  We were ALL programmed this way. 

At this stage you will undoubtably wonder what you can do about it.  What can you change?  You have to make money in order to live.  Stop!  This is one of the traps that prevents us from thinking.  Yes, in our current reality we require money to survive.  BUT, how much money is really necessary?  What is actually important to you?  Is your time, your energy and your happiness worth more to you than the big house or the fancy car?  Are you self-reliant, or do you have to “call in” a specialist every time something breaks?  Can you take care of yourself, or do you need someone else to tell you what to do?

This is where you begin to ponder WHAT really, really, really matters to you?  Why do you care so much about your stuff?  Remember, you can’t take anything with you when you die.  So, why do you care so much about it while you are living?  (EGO)  You believe your stuff makes you important, or it proves that you are successful.  You see, our stuff is what allows us to justify why we work so hard.  Why do we care so much about our stuff, and so little about ourselves?  There is only one way to figure this out.  And that requires us to actually think about it.  Instead of comparing ourselves with others, based on the amount of “stuff” we have, why not notice whether THEY/WE are happy or not.  What is more important to you; being happy or being wealthy?  Keep in mind, money does not make you happy.  It can bring temporary fun, temporary satisfaction, but it will never bring you inner peace and genuine happiness.  Something to ponder:  if “stuff” makes you happy, why aren’t you happy all the time?  Why are you resentful?  Why are you so selfish?  Why do you think you are better than others who have less stuff?  These thoughts are outside of you – thus they are your judgements of others.  And once again, the question remains, if your stuff supposedly makes you happy, WHY AREN’T YOU HAPPY?  FYI…your judgements of others are actually your own internal judgements of yourself! These are programs which are based on your own self-worth.  You have attached yourself to a belief that “stuff” makes the man.  What happened to integrity, character and honor?  What happened to compassion, what happened to helping others without the need for compensation?